A Practical Guide to Sarcasm
by dumbelldor
Summary: Okay, it wasn't exactly my brightest decision. But hey, you try and decide: sleep on the cold, hard marble, or accept James Potters offer of a warm, comfy bed? It's an obvious choice. Of course, now everyone thinks I hooked up with him, but that's just the price to pay for sleep. "And I thought it couldn't look any worse. Note to self: never think that again."
1. Chapter 1

When I woke up this morning, I was just looking forward to sleeping in my warm bed at Hogwarts, and chatting with Rose. All the classic happy things you do at a wizarding school.

Hello, I'm Adelaide Wright. I'm a seventh year Ravenclaw, which doesn't actually make any sense. I'm willing to bet fifty galleons that the sorting hat was just so tired and pissed that he just gave up by the time he got to my name and sorted me into a random house. It's the only explanation that makes sense! I'm so not Ravenclaw material. I get stuck out of the common room everyday, it's horrible. In fact, that's what happened today. It did not end well for me. Maybe I could make a petition for McGonagall to make a separate entrance for me, the pariah . . .

/

I pulled the small blanket from my bag, sat down, and stared. And stared. And stared.

How did I get into Ravenclaw? That's a good question. I would like to know that too. I would especially like to know now, so maybe I could have a chance to sleep in my dorm tonight. I covered my legs in the blanket, leaned back against the cold marble wall, and closed my eyes. Merlin, I was tired. I could just imagine the warm, sweet comfort of my bed. Ahhh. But, as always, I couldn't figure out the riddle to open the door. I never can, except for a few rarities. Most of the time I had to just wait for someone to come by. A lot of the time, it took a long time. Some of the time, I lay here all night until someone comes out the next morning and wakes me up. Let's just say that has happened a few times too many. I kept the blanket in my bag for a reason. If only a had a way to get Rose down here . . .

Look, normally I wouldn't get back so late, or I would warn Rose so I could do our special knock and she would open the door for me, but not today. I had to bake for Rose's birthday, and I couldn't let her know that. Okay, true, I baked for her every year, but sometimes it's gotta remain a mystery, yeah?

I settled back into the stone that was slowly warming up to my back. Merlin, I love being warm-blooded.

"What are you doing?"

A savior! My eyes opened, and I stood up quickly, only for my smile to drop.

"You're not a Ravenclaw." I grumbled.

James Potter pointed at his Gryffindor tie. "What were you doing laying on the floor asleep?"

"I couldn't figure out the riddle." I said awkwardly, scratching the side of my head. "Don't judge me."

A smirk slipped onto his lips, and I held in the urge to smack it off him.

"What was the riddle?" he asked, the smirk not leaving his face.

"You hear it speak, for it has a hard tongue. But it cannot breathe, for it has not a lung. What is it?" I quoted.

He paused, his eyebrows furrowed.

"You know, how about instead of sleeping out here all night, you come with me? I'll let you steal my warm fluffy bed." He teased, the smirk rejoining his lips.

"Excuse me?" I sputtered, bright red tinging my cheeks. Sleep in James Potter's bed? Sleep in James Potter's bed. Though he was Rose's cousin. It couldn't be that bad right? "You're lucky I like sleep." I muttered, gathering up my bag and blanket.

"Wait, you're actually coming with me?" he said, raising an eyebrow. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You do not offer to let me sleep in your bed then take it back. I'm sleeping in your bed tonight, and there is nothing you can do to stop me." I ranted.

He grinned.

"Follow me, Ada." He turned around and walked away. And because I'm a hormonal teenager with no self control, I checked out his butt. It's a good butt, by the way. In case you were wondering. I sure was.

/

I let out a soft groan, turning over in my bed, reaching an arm around my pillow and pulling it closer to me. I snuggled my face closer in, smelling that wonderful, clean smell. Merlin, I love the stuff those house elves used this time. I could sit here all day sniffing my pillows. I shifted my leg over on top of the pillow. I should probably get up. Although it is a weekend . . . But I don't really know what time it is, do I? I sighed into my pillow. I was so comfortable, though. This pillow and I are best friends now. Okay, I really should get up. I rolled over, missing the absence of my warm, good smelling pillow. Bye pillow. I stretched my arms above my head, and fluttered my eyes open. I sat up, scratching my head and yawning loudly. That was when it hit me. I was surrounded by red and gold, and the pillow I was using was most certainly not a pillow. I let out a shriek, flailed, and found myself falling on the floor and getting a face full of a Potter jersey. I guess the house elves hadn't been using something else on the pillow.

"Why the hell is Adelaide Wright in our bedroom?" I heard a husky voice ask from across the room. James was peering down at me, a smirk on his face. I swear to Merlin, if he smirks at me one more time. I sat up, and pushed my skirt down. It had rode up while I was asleep. Oh my Merlin, James Potter saw my underwear. My face turned bright red, so I grabbed my bag and made a break for it.

I'm mentally unstable. Probably insane. Actually, scratch that, definitely insane. How could I be so stupid? How could I be a Ravenclaw? How could I let myself do this? I ought to be locked up.

I raced into the common room, only to come to a grinding halt. It was completely full to the brim of people. All of which were staring at me, completely silent. I guess I can get that, I am in my Ravenclaw uniform and I just came racing from the boys dormitory. Wait, boys dormitory. This looks bad. This looks really, really bad.

"Ada, you forgot your blanket." James said, coming up from behind me. Then he looked out, and caught a glimpse of what I was staring at. And I thought it couldn't look any worse. Note to self: never think that again. I ripped the blanket from him, and ran towards the exit. I just had to get out. If I got out, I would be fine. That was when the whispers started. I ripped open the portrait and ran like I was on bloody fire.

Shit, shit, shit, shit! What did I just do? Was the bed really worth it? Was the sleep really worth it? Actually . . . Yeah, it kind of was, to be honest. James may not have actually been a pillow, but he was still really comfy.

Now that I think about it, was James in bed with me when I fell asleep? Cause I don't think he was. In fact, I distinctly remember him promising to sleep on the floor or something. That prat! He snuck into bed with me!

I slowed my run into a walk as I entered the Great Hall. I wasn't going to stop by the commons. If I did, I would get stuck again, and by the time I changed and got ready, breakfast would be over. Food over cleanliness. I plopped down across from Rose and made a grab for the pancakes.

"You look like shit." She said bluntly.

"I hate your cousin." I said, stuffing the pancakes into my face. Bless the house elves.

"Which one?" she asked dryly, cutting up her waffles. Ugh, waffles. So not as good as pancakes, as much as Rose would disagree with me. I mean, I like waffles and all, but they don't possess the blessed texture of happiness and joy like pancakes do.

"James the prat."

"Why James?" she asked, not really surprised. I get that, James was always doing something pratty at one point or another. Just not usually with me.

"Okay, so you know how I get stuck out of the common room all the time?" she nodded. "Well, I was getting ready to sleep on the floor, cause I knew I was probably the last one out. And then comes James, who invites me to the Gryffindor dormitories."

Rose held up her hand.

"Please tell me that he lets you sleep on a couch." I shook my head.

"So in my desperation to sleep on something over than a cold marble floor, I agree. I follow him up to the boys dormitories." Rose placed her head in her hands. She looks distressed. "He tells me I can take his bed, and that he will sleep on the floor." Rose snorts at this. Agreed. "Only then I wake up this morning using him as a bloody pillow!" I said this bit, flailing my hands around to emphasize this. "So I race downstairs only to find the entire common room staring at me!" I could feel my face start to burn. I can't believe I actually did this. "And then James comes down!" I slapped my hand on the table, making a few first years jump in the process. "And I have never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life." I said, putting my face into my hands. "I am a right idiot."

"The Gryffindor table is staring at you, Adelaide." Rose sighed. I peeked up at her.

"What do you mean the Gryffindor table is staring at me? The entire Gryffindor table?" I asked, my voice raising in pitch.

She nodded solemnly and pointed. I swung around. Yes, the entire Gryffindor table. Including James. Shit. I turned back around, banging my head on the table, causing a few first years to inch away from the train wreck that is my life.

"I'm an idiot!" I wailed. "I don't deserve to be alive! How could I do this? How could I let James Potter ruin my life!"

Rose stifled a laugh.

"Aw, it's not that bad, Ada. You could have actually slept with him." She said, unable to keep the humor from her voice. What a best friend I've got, right?

I grabbed a pile of bacon ferociously. Well, as ferociously you can grab a grease soaked breakfast food. (Which isn't very ferocious, just so you know.)

"Excuse me?" a meek voice came from behind me. I turned around to see a small second year Gryffindor smiling weakly at me. I gave her a sweet smile. See? I can be nice. I don't scare all the youngin's. Well, all of the time. "I, uh, was wondering . . ." The little girl looked away, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. "If you were dating James Potter. Y-you would look v-very sweet t-t-t-together."

My smile dropped.

"No, we are not." I hissed. The little girl had tears pricking at her eyes, and she ran off.

"Adelaide!" Rose said, her mouth dropping. "What was that for!"

"She asked me if James and I were dating." I said defensively.

"Do I have to give you a detention?" she said sternly.

"Nah, I'm good!" I said cheekily. Rose just glared at me in return.

Rose Weasley is my best friend. I love her, I do. But this head girl power is going to her head. Plus, she's getting more neurotic with her old age. Not that I'm much younger than her, that is. Only three months. But I'm beginning to see a hint of grey peeking out from under that red hair.

So, here's the thing. Rose here is head girl, and guess who is head boy? That's right, Scorpius Malfoy, arch enemy of Rose. Also the best friend of Albus Potter, Rose's cousin. Ha. Sucks to suck, eh? Rose is just way over thinking this. She's pretty much just pissing him off on purpose at this point. She thinks he's not going to work either way, which is just plain wrong. I know Scorpius. He's not an ass, he's actually pretty cool. Rose just won't accept this, cause she's upset about some thing he did first year. I don't even remember what happened, personally. But Rose does. I just wish she would let it go. I mean, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife.

Suddenly, Rose ripped me from my thoughts.

"Hey James!" she said cheerfully.

I snapped around to find him, except there was nothing there. Instead, Rose just let out a loud laugh.

"You suck." I muttered, turning back to her. Why did I keep her around again?

/

A/N: Hi! I really hope you liked that. I've had this story in mind for a while, so it's amazing to finally have this on paper. It's kind of a relief. Points to you if you can figure out the riddle!

Note: Rating subject to change

Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey guys! The response to the first chapter made me so excited, thank you guys!

Thanks to 88pianokeys88, guest, littlelilypad, .and other stuff, Azure, and pink-hollow!

(congrats to Guest for getting the riddle answer right!)

* * *

I am a master of evasion. I ought to get an award. I always knew my name deserved an award somewhere. James Potter was looking for me, and I was not going to let him find me. Possibly ever. Hopefully forever. Forever sounds nice. Forever sounds calm. I like calm. I like people not knowing my name. But no, one night with James Potter, and everyone knows my name. Wow, that sounds bad. But I do mean everyone. For example, a guy who I've had classes with since first year only just learned my name. Seven years of class together, and he found out my name cause he thinks of banging James Potter. Bullshit.

The thing is, James Potter isn't even my type. I'm a fan of the classic sweet nerdy guy. I was never into the bad boy thing. Ya know? Rose definitely falls for that (cough Scorpius cough) but that was just never my thing. I can't believe the entire school believes that I would go for him! That was when a familiar red haired Weasley sat across from me.

Lucy Weasley, seventh year Slytherin, close friend and cousin of James Potter. Shit. Lucy intimidates me, real bad. She may be short, as in I tower over her. However, that really didn't make much of a difference. She has a presence. And she's scary. I've seen her hexes, and I have no desire to be on the wrong end of one of those. Lucy has light blue eyes and long, perfectly straight, perfectly shiny, frizz-free red hair that flows like a waterfall down to her waist. She's thin, but has muscle on her. She could probably beat me up. Oh, who am I kidding, she could definitely beat me up. She's a beater on the Slytherin quidditch team. In fact, quidditch matches are the only time I've ever seen her and James fight. Most of the time they're getting along and pranking people, along with Fred and Dom.

"Um, h-hi." I stuttered. Wow, I am so not good at talking to people. Lucy flipped her hair off her shoulder, and leaned back in her chair, staying silent. "Do you need something?" and now I'm being rude. Great. I just need to stop talking altogether. Maybe I should become a mime. I'll invest in a few black and white striped shirts on my next trip to Hogsmeade. Learn to go heavy on the eyeliner.

"You slept with James." She said, crossing her arms. I shook my head frantically.

"No, no, I didn't actually _sleep_ with him!" I exclaimed. She quirked an eyebrow.

"So you didn't sleep in his bed last night?" she drawled. Merlin, she sounds like James. I blinked at her comment.

"Oh, um, yeah I guess I did." I said slowly.

"So you did cuddle up to him and use him as a pillow all night." She stated, a smirk forming on her face. She even looks like James, except, you know, a girl. Whatever. Big difference.

"Um, yes." I said, my face probably turning into a lovely shade of puce.

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Lucy said, suddenly turning into an ecstatic teenager instead of an intimidating Slytherin beater. Thrown off by this change, I just blinked at her. "Finally James isn't sleeping around for a night. Thank Merlin. I've been trying to get him to find a nice girl for years now, and I didn't even have to help this time!" She stuck out her hand to me. "I'm Lucy." I stared down at her hand. "You two are dating, now . . . Right?" she said, noticing the fact I'm just sitting them.

"Well . . . It's more like . . . Um. Kind of . . ." I stuttered, unable to fully form a sentence. What, did James not talk to her? And since when did this get around the entire bloody school.

Lucy's smile and hand dropped simultaneously.

"You're not dating, are you?"

I shook my head, and with that, Lucy grabbed her bag and left.

Well, that went well.

* * *

I would love to hole myself up in the Ravenclaw common room now. Or any common room, at this point. Except the Gryffindor one. That wouldn't end well. But nowhere is safe, not even my own common room. Why, you ask? Because everyone knows. I've never exactly been the subject of gossip so far, I had no idea it could travel so fast. I tend to live in my own world, and all the gossip I have I got from Rose.

So? What did I do, you ask? I went to the kitchen, and I stress baked.

The entire room was filled with cookies, a cake, and several batches of brownies. I poured the mix into the pan, and popped it into oven. I sighed and walked over to a batch of chocolate chip cookies and popped one into my mouth. I closed my eyes and sighed. Damn, I'm a good baker.

CLANG!

I jumped into the air, flailing my arms, and the plate I was holding shot out of my hand at the intruder.

"My cookies!" I yelped, running after it, but it was too late. A chocolate chip cookie smacked James Potter smack dab in the middle of his face. I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop laughing.

He looked _pissed_. Like, he was ready to kill me. I let out a loud snort.

"Oh merlin, I'm so sorry!" I laughed. I don't think I sound very convincing.

"You told my cousin we aren't dating." He said simply, peeling the warm cookie off his face. My laughing stopped immediately.

"Excuse me?" I asked, tilting my head slightly. What the hell was he talking about? He didn't actually think we are dating, does he? Or did he expect me to tell Lucy that we were? I'm confused.

"You were supposed to lie. You were supposed to get her off my back." He ran his hand through his hair, which ended up very distracting for me. No, bad Adelaide. James Potter is the enemy.

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" I asked irritably. He blinked. He clearly didn't know the answer to that either. Ha. Take that, Potter. I smirked in triumph. Stealing your move, Potter. Ha.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked suddenly, looking around.

"Stress baking," I said simply. I picked up a cookie and offered it to him.

"Why are you stressed?" he teased, walking over and taking it from me. I gave him a look.

"Why do you think?" I asked dryly. He smirked at me. Would he just _stop_ that? Although, I have to admit, it's rather addicting. He took a step towards me. My hands moistened slightly. Yep, and now I'm uncomfortable. I shifted away, but he just followed me. Prick. My hip hit the counter, and he took another step towards me.

"Would you stop that?" I said, looking away. His eyes are a bit distracting. They're actually a rather nice shade of brown. Warm.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently. Ugh. He's probably pleased that he thinks he's affecting me. Which isn't. "Now, Adelaide, I was hoping you would do me a favor." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"A favor?" I repeated. He nodded, taking a step closer to me. Would he just stop that? I had barely any room left. "What do you want?" He took another step. I felt like my heart was moving in my chest. Well, I mean, I know it does. But, like, not beating, just . . . Shifting. Inside of my chest. Yeah, shifting. Is that possible? For a heart to shift? That sounds really unlikely. My thought process was cut off by James' proximity to me. He got closer to me while I was in Adelaide world.

"I need you to pretend we're going out." He said, unnervingly close to me. I like my personal space, okay? I'm agoraphobic. Right. Yeah.

"Excuse me?" I sputtered.

"I need to get Lucy off my back." He explained, not moving away, but also not moving any closer, thank Merlin. "She won't leave me alone about it. I'm not stupid, Ada, I know you don't like me." Right. Because attraction isn't liking someone. And who wouldn't be attracted to James Potter? I mean, damn boy. "That's the good thing. You don't have to like me. I just need you to pretend for a while so that I can tell Lucy I gave it a shot. And . . . I know you like someone else." My eyes shot up. Wait. No. Please tell me he didn't. "You like Albus." Shit, shit, shit. "And guess what? He's my cousin! You can get a shot. Who knows he might even get jealous." James shot me a wink. I glared up at him.

"No, you prick." I hissed, pushing him away from me. James' smile dropped. "I've read enough romance novels to know where this ends!" I said, wagging my finger at him." At that, he just looked confused.

_Beep! Beep!_

Oh, right. Brownies. I grabbed the oven mitt and pulled them out of the oven.

"I'll tell Al." James said suddenly. My head shot up, and I nearly dropped the burning hot pan.

"Excuse me?" I sputtered.

"I'll tell him!" he said, his brown eyes piercing through mine.

"You must be really desperate, aren't you?" I said pityingly.

"Kind of, yeah." He said, plopping down on a stool.

"What, you can't just date a member of your fan club?" I asked, placing the pan down on the small empty space on the counter. I was really running out of room.

"Have you _met_ them?" he asked, taking a sugar cookie off a plate.

"True," I muttered. "Wait a minute. What about your fan club? They'd actually murder me! And I'm so vulnerable! I sleep outside my common room for Merlin's sake!" I said, throwing my hands into the air.

"Is that a yes?" he asked cautiously. Trust James Potter to focus on that.

"Just answer the question." I snapped.

"Well you could always sleep in my bed." He said with a lavish wink. He may have been joking, but that sounded very appealing. "And trust me, I'll help you fight them off. So . . . Is that a yes?" He asked, smiling charmingly at me. I sighed, and ran a hand through my honey blonde hair.

"Fine." I said slowly, before pointing at him. "But I reserve the right to steal your bed sometimes." A huge grin flew across his face.

"Of course, of course!" he said, standing up and grabbing me into a huge bear hug.

I'm probably going to regret this tomorrow.

* * *

I, once again, woke up in James Potter's bed. I'm most definitely not the brightest bulb on the block. But hey, he is the worlds greatest pillow.

"Adelaide." He called to me softly. I groaned, and swatted at him. He grabbed my hand and pushed it away. "Adelaide." I opened one eye and peered at him.

"What do you want?" I asked gruffly. I am so not a morning person.

"It's breakfast time." He said cheerfully, moving one hand to my waist. Prat. He was totally taking advantage of the situation. I groaned loudly, and rolled onto my feet. The boys dormitory is so bloody cold. I grabbed the clothes I brought and headed into their bathroom. See, this time I came prepared. I came out of the bathroom, still tying my tie.

"You ready to go?" I yawned, ruffling up my hair. I've gotten the best two nights of sleep ever in this room. Did they make the Gryffindor beds more comfy or something? How prejudiced. James nodded, throwing an arm around my shoulders. Well, this is awkward.

The thing I forgot to account for is that every Sunday all the branches of the Weasley tree have breakfast together at the Gryffindor table. So, when James dropped me off at the Ravenclaw table, the entire Weasley clan got to stare at me openly. Lucy quirked an eyebrow at me. And then there was Albus. Did he even know my name? Well, he did now at least. I kissed James quickly on the cheek, as uncomfortable as humanly possible. That was then he pulled me in closer, and kissed me on the lips. I was hyper-aware of every sensation.

One of those sensations was that the entire school was staring at us. That sense took over every single one, but I held out. I swear to Merlin, I was going to kill James later.

He pulled away, ruffled my hair, and walked off to the Gryffindor table. Where Rose was staring at me.

Shit.

I forgot to tell Rose.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose was ignoring me. She was angry, and I admit she kind of had the right to be. I would be ignoring me if I was her.

"Rose!" I called to her, rather pointlessly. Suddenly, she turned back to me, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm trying to imagine some possible way you could explain this and have it make sense, but go ahead. Try." She said, crossing her arms. I glanced around, before grabbing onto Rose's arm and towing her into the nearest "secret room."

"Where are you taking me?" she grumbled.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted. "I don't know what's wrong with me!" I said, running my hands through my hair.

"Oh, so you _aren't _aware that you appear to be dating my _cousin?_" Rose asked sarcastically.

"I'm not actually dating him, Rose." I said desperately. Oops. I probably shouldn't have told his cousin that. Though he was only trying to get Lucy off his back, right? Maybe it would be okay if I told Rose? It kind of has to be, it's too late now to take it back.

"What do you mean?" she asked, shaking her head. "Does he know that? Cause he was boasting that he got you to go out with him at breakfast." My smile dropped. That arse.

"I mean that I'm only pretending to date James so he can get Lucy off his back." I said, not looking Rose in the eye. She gave an exasperated sigh and nodded.

"That sounds like James. What a bloody idiot. I can't believe he roped you into this. Why did you even agree?" she gave me a look.

"He blackmailed me! Well, sort of." Rose, thankfully, did not bother to ask about me being blackmailed. I tell Rose pretty much everything, but my tiny, tiny crush of Albus Potter is not one of the Rose-safe topics. I haven't told her, and it's nowhere on my agenda either. "And I just kind of pitied him. I mean, he was desperate. It was sad. So, I agreed." Rose grinned. "Why are you smiling." I asked cautiously.

"_Because _if he's 'dating' you," she did air-quotes around the word dating. "He can't just sleep around. If he does, there will be rumors and everyone will know, including Lucy, which he doesn't want. So, he can't. Which means that either way, Lucy wins." Rose said, a huge grin still taking over her face.

"Well, that's true, but stop smiling like the Cheshire cat, it's creeping me out." I muttered, slipping from the room.

Well, that went well. For once.

That was when Lucy and the Weasley girls sans Rose attacked me.

"Adelaide!" Lucy said cheerfully, grinning in a fashion quite like my best friend. Damn, what did they put in those genes? "How are you doing?" she said, stopping in front of me. To the left of her was Dom Weasley, with her perfect veela blonde hair and clear blue eyes that actually look exactly like mine . . . Weird. To the right of Lucy was Roxanne, the only current female Hufflepuff of the Weasley clan. She's rather stunning, with clear dark skin. She had a splattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and she had black curly hair that was tight ringlets all over. It went down past her shoulders. She was rather tall, albeit shorter than me. Then, slightly behind them all, was Lily Potter. She was the youngest, only what? A third year I believe? She had bright red hair tied into a ponytail and brown eyes. The same color as James, actually.

"Uh, I'm okay." I said, giving her a weird look. Lucy Weasley, being overly nice to me. It's weird and I don't like it. "How are you?"

Lucy blatantly ignored my question, flipping her hair over her shoulder. There she goes, being intimidating again. What is it about her being intimidating? If I just saw a muggle picture of her and didn't know her, I wouldn't be scared of her at all. She doesn't look scary. But she just gives off some kind of air that just makes me want to hide under a table.

"We're inviting you to a sleepover in the Gryffindor seventh year girls dorm." She said firmly. I had a feeling it wasn't just an invitation.

"Oh, I really don't think-" I began before Lucy cut me off.

"We'll see you at seven." She said, heading off. Lily gave me a sympathetic smile, while Dom smiled slightly at my misfortune.

"It'll be fine." She said with a laugh, before they all left in different directions. I guess I was left with my own devices.

* * *

"I don't really want to go." I grumbled. "I'm going to be under a magnifying glass there."

James rolled his eyes at me. The kitchens had become a bit of a meeting place for us. Not everyone knew how to get into them, so they provided at least a degree of privacy. All the Weasley's know how to get in, though, so it doesn't really do much. At least I can bake in here while having no privacy.

"You'll be fine." He said, clearly not bothered at all.

"How am I going to be fine?" I asked. "They might ask me how you asked me out. Or our first kiss. Our first date. Our _anything._" I said, waving my hands around. "I'm not good at making things up on the spot." James eyebrows furrowed.

"Well, I'm not exactly the type of person to ask someone out elaborately." I rolled my eyes at him.

"What about someone you really liked?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Cause you're supposed to really like me."

"I do." He said, winking at me. "I asked you out in the library." He began.

"The library?" I laughed. "_You _asked _me _out in the library?"

"Don't Ravenclaws like the library?" he asked, obviously confused. Oh poor naive little Potter.

"Alright, so you asked me out before Charms. Nothing special, no, but clearly you were too nervous to think of something better." I said thoughtfully. James raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent. "You asked me out to Hogsmeade, and you managed to convince me to sneak out. Our first kiss was in the tunnel heading back. You asked me to be your girlfriend yesterday, while I was baking in the kitchens." I looked at him for approval.

"You stay still when you lie." He said, staring at me emotionless.

"Excuse me?" I said, confused.

"When you lie, you move. You waved your hands on your last sentence, but only because it was technically true." He said, standing up. "Lucy will notice. You move your hands when you talk which means you have to move your hands when you lie." Oh. I didn't know I did that.

"I'll work on it." I said, only to have James stare at me until I practice.

This was probably going to take a while, wasn't it?

* * *

_Lucy Weasley's POV_

I'm hardly an idiot. I may not be a Ravenclaw, but that doesn't make me stupid.

I know James isn't actually dating Adelaide. I was, however, looking forward to seeing how this was going to end.

Let's just say this relationship has many beneficial aspects to me. But that doesn't mean I was planning on going easy on her tonight.

However, Adelaide wasn't showing up to the sleepover.

"Lucy, I don't think we gave her the password." Dom suddenly said, looking up at me from her copy of _Witch Weekly. _I frowned. Oh. Oops?

"I'll go check if she's waiting outside." Roxy said, standing up. She kept her toes pointed up, seeing as she just painted them.

"So, do you know Adelaide?" I asked Lily and Dom conversationally. Obviously Rose knew her, they were best friends.

Lily nodded, but Dom shook her head.

"I mean, I've heard vague things about her, but I haven't technically met her." Dom said with a shrug. I looked at Lily, urging her to speak.

"I've met her when I visit Rose sometimes." She said, grabbing a cookie.

"She's my best friend." Rose said. She was not happy that I invited 'Ada' and she made that very clear. Ha.

"Everyone knows that Rose." I said, waving her off. That was when Roxanne walked in with Adelaide.

Let the games begin.

* * *

_Lucy Weasley's POV_

Ada is not a particularly good liar. She doesn't move. She stays completely still, which is weird when you move as much as her. I've never seen her still before. She hasn't stopped chewing her lip since she got her, and the words she's said the most is 'uh' and 'um.' Not very eloquent, that girl.

She did have good stories, though. Obviously made up, cause Merlin knows James Potter would never wait till the end of a date to kiss a girl. James probably suggested something, but Ada is a bit of a romantic (I can tell) and probably shot them down. Pity, I would have believed the James story. That is, if I hadn't already decided that they weren't dating.

So, we moved onto just questioning Ada on her life. Sure enough, she started moving again. It's adorable how naive this girl is.

She grew up in a small muggle town to muggle born parents. She went to a muggle school until coming to Hogwarts. Her parents wanted her to embrace the muggle part of her heritage.

"Can we please stop talking about me?" she asked, shifting uncomfortably. "What about you guys?" Lily grinned at me.

"So Lucy, what's going on with you and Lorcan?" she asked deviously. That girl. Let me just say that Lily should have been sorted into Slytherin. None of the Gryffindor nonsense. There are way too many Gryffies in the family.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, feeling red tinge my cheeks. Damn those Weasley genes. Ada raised an eyebrow.

"This sounds promising." She said, throwing in a smirk. Aw, look at what she's already picking up from Jamesie.

"Lorcan asked our dear Lucy out." Rose said, filling Ada in.

"Yeah, well what about Rose and Scorpius!" I chimed in. And, yes, all of us did turn on her.

"Wait, no, I didn't say anything!" she said, throwing her hands up. "I didn't ask for this."

"Finally someone who agrees with me!" Ada groaned. "I've been the third wheel for them for _months _it's horrible." I can like this girl. Rose sent her an affronted glare. A patented Rose glare. Scares none, but is a good source of amusement. I really ought to give her lessons.

"Come on, Rosie," I teased. "What's wrong with going on a friendly date with your head boy?"

Rose's face erupted in flames.

"I do not like him!" she said, waving her finger at us. "He is a _prat _and I hate him! He doesn't do anything, and he just leaves all the work to me while he is off snogging some random girl!"

"Oh come on, Rose." Adelaide whined. "You know the only reason he doesn't do any work is because you yell at him every time he does! He got Head Boy for a reason. McGonagall trusts him."

"Oh, shut up!" Rose said, crossing her arms. I love it when she's all worked up.

"Okay, moving on." I laughed, turning to look at the others. "Truth or dare?"

* * *

A/N: So I've had a few suggestions to switch POV's and I'm sure you meant Rose and James and such, which I will get to, but I'm starting with Lucy. I'm a big fan of her, and she's my favorite next gen character.

Pretty uneventful chapter and a bit short, but I'm just setting up the pieces for later on. Like jenga. Or something.


End file.
